Harvest Hoops-Maroon Team

As the Harvest Bible Chapel Rolling Meadows basketball season approaches this Saturday morning, our fearless co-captain Ben Asper, who knows each of our abilities to some degree, has given the scouting report on each player.

Please do not be personally offended if this scouting report does not 100% accurately describe your skills; you will have a chance to prove your meddle or additions to your repertoire (Eric Freckman-three-point shot?) beginning Saturday morning at 7:30 AM.

Photo courtesy of nymag.com

Here's the breakdown:

Ben Asper (co-captain): mind still thinks he is 25 but his body doesn't follow so he won't be dunking this year

Eric Freckman (co-captain): physical player who doesn't let anyone stand in his way, watch out for those elbows

Chris Bartucci: if he's half as good at basketball as he is at softball he will score 20/game

Joe Martin: elder of the league but plays like he's half his age, was a mentor of Coach K and Phil Jackson (or seems like it)

Thomas Martin: has learned under the tutelage of his dad Joe (see above), and he has the advantage of actually being half the age of his dad

Devaughn Rounds: fastest player in the league, has the flair of Nate Robinson and the game of Chris Paul

Billy Smith: don't let his Bill Cartwright shot fool you, he will make everything inside 15 feet and lead the team in rebounding

Paul Von Tobel: tries to lull opponents to sleep but then he leads the league in three pointers every year